I was reading a blog post recently by HonestMum.com about her experiences of ‘boy bashing’ as she put it. Where people, I think usually women, seem keen and relieved to have girls rather than boys.
When I was pregnant a woman at work (who had four daughters) asked me if I’d found out the sex of the baby. I said that I hadn’t. She said that she was so relieved each time to have a girl and didn’t think she’d have had so many children if she’d have had a boy because a boy would have probably put her off more. Why? I didn’t actually ask as I was just so taken aback. And you do hear of people who have several sons but they keep trying for more children because they desperately want a girl. But you don’t really hear of it the other way round where people are desperately trying for a boy. Well I haven’t anyway.
Coincidentally I’d been thinking about writing a post about baby boys. Before I begin I want to make it clear that this isn’t a boys v girls post, or that boys are in any way better. We didn’t mind what flavour baby we had and in fact I have two nieces who we absolutely adore and have never really thought about preferring one to the other. In fact, when we look to the future and hopefully do have another child, I really don’t mind whether it is a girl or a boy. Just another child to love and care for is all we want.
But now, to me, boys are that little extra bit precious. They are more vulnerable than girls. Why? Well, if Samuel had been a girl he wouldn’t have to go through what he has to go through each day. He would be a ‘normal’ and healthy 16 month old little boy. But Samuel has ARX. This is a defect on the X chromosome and because boys only have one X, they don’t have second one (like us girls do) to back up any defects in the other X. If Samuel had been a girl, he’d more than likely have been a carrier like me, but wouldn’t have to go through any of what he goes through and we wouldn’t know anything about ARX. Not perhaps until we had a second child that was a boy or my daughter went on to have a son who would likely have ARX.
I read an article quite some time ago that said that it tended to be boys that were more likely to have special needs or learning difficulties. I don’t know how much of that is true. Perhaps that’s why people prefer girls because of their own fears about special needs. I don’t know. But for us, that’s why boys are that little extra precious.